blog

"MEMORY CARE"

Tue, 05 Nov 2013 20:19:08 +0100

It's tough being a resident in a nursing home. Especially in one that specializes in memory care. Faces are seldom familiar to you, the question on your lips is "where am I?" But there's one thing that always seems familiar and takes you back in time to a memory you thought you'd long forgotten, and that's hearing the songs you love.

Today residents at Elderberry Square sang along to MY GUY and BILL BAILY (always a favorite) and clapped and moved to ONLY YOU and IN THE STILL OF THE NIGHT, and one woman in the back shed many tears as I sang JUST THE WAY YOU LOOK TONIGHT.

I never know which songs will bring back memories, or whether they'll be sad or happy ones, but because I focus on songs from the 1930s to the 1950s there seems to be something there for everyone.

When I departed, Evelyn reached up from her wheelchair, tapped my leg and very quietly shared, "When I was a young child, I used to sing A TISKET, A TASKET as I skipped down to the water hole to go swimming with my brothers. It is a favorite of mine. Thank you."

THIS is why I sing for seniors, to bring them a bit of comfort, a little ray of sunshine, and to take a walk with them down memory lane.

Heart Strings Meet Harp-strings

Sat, 02 Nov 2013 03:59:40 +0100

I'm sure many of you have experienced the magical connections made while traveling alone.

These "synchronisities" just seem to occur far more prevalently on solo journeys. From the jungles of Costa Rica and Ecuador to the gypsy festivals of Stes. Marie de la Mer in France, to the Chalice Well in Glastonbury, England or the tulip fields of Holland - it doesn't matter where I am, unusual happenings just seem to pop up often when I'm on my own ---- well, that's my take on it anyway.

I had a strong dream about my father, Dan, last night. He was sharing tears of joy at the progress his youngest son had made in making many changes in his life. He and I were hugging and we both felt a weight taken from our shoulders due to the shifts some of the family members had made this past year. It was a happy dream and so good to see my father (whose passed on) up close and personal, even to the point of familiar smells. I awoke thinking about him.

Today, after setting up a few singing gigs here in Florence, I suddenly got the urge to drive down the coast a bit further to Reedsport. Thinking I was looking for an elder care center, when I got there the address had taken me to the hospital. When I inquired, I was sent to the hospice center at the back of the hospital. The woman in charge ended up being a music therapist who played several instruments: the flute, banjo, guitar, etc. We had so much in common while talking in her office about my coming by next week sometime. We both knew first hand of the healing power of music. She shared her own experience that often patients hadn't needed their pain meds following a deep connection to a musical performance.

Suddenly, she asked if I could stay awhile. I said, "yes." She picked up an odd shaped bag and we walked down to a room where several elders were sitting in wheelchairs. From the bag she withdrew a worn celtic harp, sat down, and asked if I knew the song "Danny Boy." OMG - I'd given my father, Dan, a music box that played that song, and asked my family if we could play that song for my father at his funeral. It felt as though she was plucking the strings of my heart as she played with such care and I sang. I watched tears roll down the face of a man sitting nearby. It was incredible.

I had driven down thinking that I was going to do the sharing, and instead I was the one who was touched beyond belief.

Do I believe in magic? YOU BET I DO! May the magic come visit YOU in your dreams....blessings!

"Inspired by My Grandmother"

Wed, 23 Oct 2013 20:27:02 +0100

"Where are you from?" the activities director asked as the elevator neared the second floor.
"I'm from Washington," I said, and explained that I planned to travel the country singing for senior living centers and VA Hospitals.
"Oh, I'm from Washington, too!" exclaimed Shawna, "from Bothell."
"Ha, I lived in Bothell for several years and attended Inglemoor High School." I said.
"Hey, I graduated from Inglemoor. What year?"

...and so the synchronisities began. Here in the lovely town of Seaside Oregon I decided it was time to "get the show on the road" as they say and scout the place for senior centers. I found three. Necanicum Village was the first I visited. It was on Saturday and the director's day off. I left a message and headed out to find the other two centers. I had no luck, so figured the first must be the one. On Sunday morning I received a voice mail that they'd love to have me come sing on Monday. This was incredibly encouraging, as I wondered how this was all going to play out with such short notice .... "just passing through town."

Greeted by the warm fireplace upon my arrival at 5:30pm, I headed upstairs to the expectant faces of about 35 residents. I set things up, did a quick sound check and then went out to meet folks. One lovely man with Parkinson's, Bill, had been a baritone in the Portland Opera. Another shared an affinity for Patsy Cline (thank goodness I had two of her songs on my set list). A few with more serious ailments who did very little talking wanted to touch my hair. It was good to have 15 mintues to interact and get to know the audience.

This was one of the most participatory crowds I'd ever sung for. I could actually HEAR their voices ringing out with mine on Patsy Cline's CRAZY and to the old favorite BILL BAILY. I watched eyes close and a wistful look breathe itself across the room as I sang songs from the 30''s - later to be informed that the songs brought faces and places to mind, "ah, so many memories." When I finished singing I was swarmed by folks asking if I had CDs for sale, if I'd be returning - and my favorite "are you related to Loretta Lynn?" Hugs, warm handshakes, smiles and then up comes Bill..."you have an amazing voice and it is apparent that you're in-tune with the song." This meant so much to me, coming from a trained musician - could've been my worst critic. I was touched by so many and knew I was on the right track. Really no words were necessary; the warmth in their hearts and the light in their eyes spoke reams.

Shawna rode down the elevator with me. "How did you get started with this?" she asked.
"About three years ago, I was sitting with my grandmother in the cafeteria of the nursing home where she lives. I was commenting that they should have more music (I'd recently gotten my Expressive Arts Educator certificate and knew of the benefits of music - especially singing.) The cook came out from behind the buffet line and said, 'You ought to do something about that." What could I do? I was scared to get up in front of people and was a closet singer. 'All I have is a karaoke machine that I have fun with.' I replied. 'That'll do,' he retorted. And because I love my grandmother and KNOW of the benefits of music, I pushed myself to make it happen."

Shawna laughed, "Yes, I was inspired by the love I have for my grandmother as well. That's how I got into this line of work. My 92 year old grandmother was having a tough time, and I realized how important it was to keep her active, interested, and laughing. So, I, too, decided to do something about it, and went to Western to get my degree."

"My son is going there right now," I replied. Another few coincidences.

We hugged like we'd known each other forever. "Please feel free to return anytime, and do be safe on your journey."

I drove away with a heart overflowing with gratitude for the ease with which this all came about...my trial run. No more worrying that I was not being realistic; this first attempt went better than I could ever have hoped. Therefore, I am encouraged and inspired to continue on. ...and yes, David, I sang them with feeling!

MY PHILOSOPHY

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 22:36:11 +0100

MY PHILOSOPHY

"Language, which mediates human perception, results in extremely complex operations: the analysis and synthesis of incoming information, the perceptual ordering of the world, and the encoding of impressions into systems. thus words - the basic linguistic units - carry not only meaning, but also the fundamental units of consciousness reflecting the external world." (Luria, 1976)

Words as "consciousness reflecting the external world"...every thought connecting to something else... detailing a relationship between things - like a two-way mirror.

A word's connotative (personal) meaning lies in its relationship to one's experience in the reflection. As I follow my bliss, the words work/play become synonymous because the language I choose to use arises from my personal experience and mediates my reality. My two-way mirror shows that oppostites are not separate, but part of a larger whole, a continuum.

I believe that the reality we experience is mind-conceived, mind-constructed, and mind-supported. What we dream we can realize - if beliefs and thoughts are connected to feeling... I believe that "reality" is first intuited - arising from the right brain, and then expressed in words through our left hemisphere. To coin a phrase, the right brain is the master and the left, its emissary. If we all felt at ease with our intuitive processes, if we all gave the intuition more credibility, think of all the new solutions we'd create! I have come to a place where I am better able to take the criticism that comes from being more forthright with my understanding of things. It hasn't always been easy in a world tilted to the left. I place a great emphasis on intuition and integrating the arts into what we now call "intelligence." A balance is necessary. Anything we can think, we can achieve. Einstein is the father of this mindset. He said that no matter how smart you are, you don't sit down in a chair and say, "Now I'm gonna think a great thought," or "Now I'm inspired (grunt)." For him it all began in the realm of the intuition. Intuition and inspiration work in mysterious ways, sometimes you're a real whiz kid and other times it's heavy going.

As co-creators, the role of the mind is to have an idea and then put it into form. Giving ourselves the space to be inspired is essential and we have to be extremely careful so as not to fill up our mind with garbage in the form of negative thinking - one must use caution and discretion as to what one thinks, reads, reacts to, watches on TV, etc.

Strong individuals residing in like-minded, cohesive communities is one of my interests. Knowing what we believe in and stand for and then linking up with the "mission statements" of a specific group with which we are drawn. Shakespeare said to "Know Thyself." Until we better know ourselves - we remain in the soup and vulnerable to outside programming.

Compassion and respect for differences are a vital part of these healthy communities engaging with one another. All talents and abilities are equal in the grand design - as are the lessons each of us undertakes. Each has its perfect place and time. Joys are balanced by tears, sacred silence by irreverent clowning, self-esteem by humility, giving by receiving, day by night, light by shadow and wisdom by innocence. To walk the balance is to honor all acts of humanness and to find the sacred in them all.

We are here to express our unique talents - in doing so we heal not only ourselves, but the Earth. Our creative potential lies in achieving co-creatorship with Life itself, and experiencing the Joy that is typical of the authentic Self. Earth school is a journey between adventures, moving back and forth between security and risk, between movement and balance.

Nothing ever remains the same. Change is inevitable. To live is to grow, and every life form is a potential teacher. The dance of life is not a dance where all the choreography is set out for you. They are dances we design ourselves when we learn to move to our own inner music...groove to our own drum rhythm.

As seen through a popular religious lens, our current paradigm teaches us that we aren't so great, born into sin, and have to reach outward to find salvation. The exact opposite can also be stated - we are magnificent beings, co-creators of our lives, and the pathway to the authentic Self is an inward journey often arising from the breath, through in-spire (to breathe) -ation.

The Earth is our holodeck and like a well prepared nest, contains all the sustenance we need. We must reconnect to the aliveness of the planet. Life asks for our creative input...asks us to play...that is our birth-right, our work. What brings a spark to your life? What lights your creative fire? Risk... Express it! Enjoy it! As Rumi said, "Let the beauty of what you love be what you do." Better words were never said.

Integrative Circularity: Moving toward a Global Consciousness

Sun, 16 Sep 2012 20:37:28 +0100

The whole story in the ascent of consciousness is the story of the opening of an aperture, the passage from a linear and contradictory consciousness to a global consciousness. Satprem[1]

Strongly driven by my direct connection to Spirit at a young age, I have spent most of my life feeling as though I were walking in-between two worlds. Perhaps due to my stubborn and dogged determination to be a fence rider, seeing the validity of both sides— of each seeming contradiction, I have developed a potent relationship to the following words and to a connotative meaning particular to my Soul’s Blueprint: pilgrim, vanguard, pioneer, Conestoga woman, explorer, adventurer, wanderer, mystic, and monk. All give rise to the meaning housed within my South Node (past lives and the talents, and unhealed afflictions we bring with us) in Aries (the driven, solo ground-breaker) in the ninth house (philosophy, religion, world travel, and higher education—seeing the bigger picture). In my younger years, immersed in the Christian faith, I was comforted by the words of Jesus that encouraged us “to be in the world, but not of it” as I tried to make sense of my feelings of being a loner with my strong intuition. Later, with my investigation into more esoteric pathways, I realized the fence post as a place of balance and a vantage point from which I could view many viable options. I also realized that astrologically, with Chiron in Aquarius, my passionate mission as the water-bearer would be juxtaposed to my difficulty making personal human connection within mainstream constructs. Driven by a passion to make a difference, and my desire to help mankind “Know Thy SELF” while transitioning into the Aquarian age of global consciousness, my pathway would be through my Chironic wound—living the life of a sojourner, watching and listening from the inside out, but all the while housing a rich, captivating inner life. This trajectory was to be both my gift and my curse and ultimately, my own healing in the microcosm-macrocosm mirror. Therefore, via my own life path, I understand what it means to live a “part.”

In the year 2000, while walking a portion of the Camino de Santiago as a pilgrim, I had ample time to breathe, to be present, and to listen to what Spirit had to say. The question foremost in my mind as I walked and watched the sun rise and set time and time again: “What is there, just over that horizon that we must embrace with the incoming millennial shift?” The words integration, body and cycle floated into my awareness and persistently gnawed at me.

[1] Satprem. (1984). Sri Aurobindo: The adventure of consciousness. New York: Institute for Evolutionary Research, p. 208.

As a pilgrim seeking the dark side of the Madonna, not dark as in evil, but dark as in submerged aspects of the feminine or anima housed within both men and women, I developed a strong connection to Mary Magdalene. In many ways I felt she housed and was privy to wisdom that had gone underground. This urged me to visit Ste. Baume, France and the limestone caves where it is said Mary Magdalene spent the final thirty-three years of her life. At the foot of the pathway butted up against the chalky hill sat a convent: the convent of Mary Magdalene. The sisters there have dedicated themselves to being a haven for her teachings as the first apostle and most beloved of Christ. In the evenings, during vespers, angelic voices sing in three and four part harmony in Mary’s honor. Their voices rise up on whispers of clouds to mingle at the top of the mountain where goats, protected by a grumpy, long-horned grandfather sentinel, guard the sacred temple built over a sort of kiva –a passageway connecting the upper and lower worlds—leading deep down into the cave where Mary lived. Stories tell of Mary’s form appearing to hover in a cloud where the temple now stands, having risen up through the passageway while immersed in prayer.

Both within this ornate chapel filled with color, and in the chapel dedicated to Mary Magdalene in Rennes le Chateau just west of it, are statues and paintings depicting Mary often in prayer or looking heavenward. In nearly every one of these renditions, Mary Magdalene is either pointing to a skull or has a skull next to her feet, as if it were a key to the ground of her being. Many Christians say this is related to the cycle of death and resurrection, however, a small voice within told me this skull signifies even more.

The repetitive dream I experienced as a young child of being imprisoned within a tower and eventually being saved by a rope that became a snake, connected me at quite an early age to the transformative shedding of many skins (veils) over my lifetime—and to the archetype of the feminine as represented by the snake. In the dream, the snake telling me to take my shoes off and sink my feet into the rich mud of the earth, whereupon I became a tree, formed a solid trunk with branches whose canopy was a mirrored reflection of an extensive root system, and never having the nightmare again, left a lasting imprint on me. For me, then, the key to wholeness and to finding the Self that Mary Magdalene points to is the body. She is telling us that it is by going into the body, by becoming embodied that we discover wholeness: “in-body-meant”—exactly the opposite of the teachings of my youth. I realized that we are spirit beings having a human experience and that the body was not evil or a burden. My intrigue with the skull also gave way to my passion to research the mind, especially the bicameral brain. A whole new world was opened to me with this shift in perception.

The Universe, seemingly in alignment with this intuition, gave ample opportunity for me to see my soul’s contract more clearly. While traveling with a good friend in the south of France several years later, another insight came my way pertaining to the skull being connected to the body, especially focusing on the brain. A French vicountess desiring to honor my friend for his service as her chauffeur and groundskeeper, and for his dedication to being a death midwife for her dear princess sister, Mimi, made him an offer that would set us off on an incredible adventure. In her castle, Lilian had a two story wall replete with ancient paintings she had collected over the years. She asked my friend which painting called out to him. He told her he’d been drawn repeatedly by eyes that seemed to follow him within a 14^th century painting—a sad-eyed portraiture of Saint Jerome looking quite contrite with a clock behind him missing the number four, and on a desk in front of him, a skull. He, too, was pointing to the skull as if it held a message.

After hours spent in deep conversation at the home of a wealthy university professor who had a collection of paintings of Saint Jerome by various artists— a specialist in dating wood and canvas—we learned that St. Jerome had had a hand in disengaging the feminine from the Christian Trinity. The professor, hoping to purchase this painting but upon seeing it realizing it didn’t fit in with the other more traditional depictions in his collection, asked us to stay for wine and cheese in the massive, well-groomed back portion of his estate. It was there that we were told that St. Jerome was a significant player in tying Greek philosophy to the incoming patriarchal Christian religion, denying the feminine and the body their rightful place alongside heaven, the mind as the seat of the soul, and a monotheistic God as the only source of Divinity. A distortion of an ancient symbol’s meaning was consciously perpetuated and the Divine Mother cast aside.

Later on my way to Holland, making a side trip to the ancient Monastery of Orval in Belgium, I ran across a tall glass case deep within the monastery’s catacombs, and within it statutes of Saint Jerome and Mary Magdalene lay side by side. You can imagine my shock and curiosity at finding these two figures, both attributing great significance to the skull, paired together. Between them a sign read, “The Two Penitents.” Further research revealed that in his later years, St. Jerome, like Mary Magdalene, repented and had set forth to right his wrongs. Talking to several art dealers and professionals, we were told time and time again that this particular painting, which was eventually sold via an auction through Sotheby and Christy’s, was one of the later in a series depicting St. Jerome after his repentance and remorse at having led humanity astray. The two penitents, he and Mary Magdalene, are known to have been great mystics in their latter years.

. The mind is a powerful tool. Intention and the creative process, I’ve learned, are extremely important in the pathway toward integration. I have discovered that The Higher Self is the vault, my dream life and subconscious are the symbolic messengers, and the creative process the activator—all together they deliver into my morning pages.

When one is alone, surrounded by the natural world, when one practices simplicity, and gratitude comes more easily, when one is quiet and open to the inspiration of the muses, one’s boundaries diffuse and become porous, offering up the possibility for that direct experience of god to trickle into the open spaces. I have developed a passion for this state of being, a hunger and thirst that drives me to make time in my life for its sustenance. Nature has become my chapel. Over the years it has become my refuge, my sanctuary, and my asylum away from the noise. It is also a place that houses magic and mystery; a place where I more easily tap into the wellspring of Spirit’s whispers when I am connected to the ground and to Matter. I feel strongly that we are departing from an era where focus on evolution, ascension, better understanding our individuality and our egoic self, strengthening it to be the conduit has paved the way for us to meld the ancient tribal connection to the land, with the cosmic forces of the heavens, thus bridging Spirit and Matter and becoming conduits for a new global consciousness. Through integration of dualistic principles we discover the immense potential we have to be co-creators of a new global myth and consciousness.

Sustainable Living

Tue, 22 May 2012 22:05:57 +0100

I've four itty bitty chicks under an incubator in my utility room. I seem to have caught some sort of "fever" while living as a WWOOFer for a time while in Hawaii and France. "WWOOF" stands for "Willing Worker on Organic Farms" and the opportunities and living conditions are as diverse as the folks involved.

In my own particular case, with my background in landscaping and as one of two groundskeepers at a large chateau in the South of France, I mowed acres of beautiful green grass, created a flower garden around the chapel, painted signs for the entrance and on occasion cooked and served food for guests at weekend workshops. What intrigued me most about this particular adventure were the caravans of families who arrived and stayed to work the land or give a workshop before moving on. As a homeowner in Anacortes, Washington this was such a foreign lifestyle to me - one I would come to love and respect. The evenings spent around a great campfire: singing, sharing food, telling stories, and playing with children and puppies was full of laughter and camaraderie. What I gleaned from this particular experience was to loosen up and release my beliefs about how life "should be" lived, and come to realize that there are happy, fulfilling lifestyles far removed from what we in the United States call "the American Dream."

My experience in Hawaii was quite different. Between living in vacation rentals, I chose to stay and work at one retreat center and at a working farm. It was in Hawaii that I was introduced to sustainable living. It is one thing to have some knowledge about it, and quite another to live it. From the building of soil, to solar energy, to collecting and using rainwater, to building raised beds, to compost toilets, to the recycling of materials (Hawaii's landfills are near maximum capacity, so recycling is extremely important and EVERYONE does it with nearly EVERYTHING) I learned so much! When I was first introduced to compost toilets and was shown how to use sawdust and turn the barrel after using it in order to create FERTILIZER, I was a bit repulsed...shows my ignorance. The best learning arose when times were challenging. At one place, cloudy days allowed for only sporadic use of solar powered electricity and were the impetus for writing and working by candlelight or lantern. At the retreat center, I became the proofreader and editor for the owners newly completed book, of which I was fortunate to add a short piece to before it was published. In both the South of France and on the Big Island of Hawaii, people easily bartered and shared their skills and their creations. They shared rides into town on a regular basis, for gas prices were MUCH higher than any we've yet seen here on the mainland.

Amazingly, there was such peace to be found in these lifestyles....a return to becoming more aware of the cycles of nature, of the movement of the sun across the sky, of the weather patterns, of the coats on the animals signaling cold spells, of sharing, of gathering around the fire in the evenings, of community. I miss it.

As a result of these adventures in 2009 and 2010 and after a year of RVing across the country in 2011, I have returned to my home and am reclaiming it with a new picture in mind - one of living off the land in a more sustainable manner. When I first bought this property in 2002, I had wanted to create a park-like atmosphere in my backyard (near 1/2 acre) and dug a pond, put in a waterfall, built a patio and fire pit and a walkway through the cedars. This YouTube shows a bit of where I am to date: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZgOcfGw6_s
Now, however, I have chosen to undertake a sort of hobby farm on the edge of town. My first purchase was a composter and compost tea maker. This was followed by a rain barrel connected to my downspout. Two weeks ago I completed the building of my cold frame, set a waist level - so no bending to do my potting and seeding. Yesterday I found that my peas had spouted in spite of the cold spell and snow we had immediately following their planting. I guess this means it is working! I have it up against the side of the house where my dryer vent blows warm air on occasion to warm the soil. This is working quite well...I'm thrilled. And now I am in the process of building a chicken coop. In the city limits one is only allowed a few hens, but that will suffice this little farm. I will have to be mindful of the raccoons that have lived in my huge cedar and enclose even the bottom of all runs with protection. Having deer, raccoons, an occasional coyote, bunnies, (a heron who ate the coy in my pond), squirrels and loads of birds, I have always felt such gratitude for the tranquility this "park" bordered by unbuildable wetlands, offered. Now chickens will join the menagerie. Next year I hope to work on the possibility of a bit of solar power, building a yurt in the back corner, and even a pump to the creek that runs in the back of the property, but for now I am content building both coop to grow chickens and eggs and soil to grow worms and veggies. This organic hobby farm/park and sustainable living has become my new passion (alongside music) and my hope is that I will be able to pass on the learning I've gleaned to my future grandchildren.

My Christmas Guest(s) 2011

Tue, 22 May 2012 22:13:09 +0100

I now know, without a doubt, that one is NEVER alone....especially on Christmas!

At 1pm I looked outside to watch my Christmas guest(s) arrive.

He and his spirit guide found a place beneath the weeping tree and fell asleep for nearly 3 hours.
Meanwhile, other guests arrived to make contact with his majestic brilliance:

and suddenly my entire backyard was FULL OF LIGHT.
The light was so bright it blocked out the trees~!

A Christmas I will NEVER forget.

So I have decided to write a story about this incident. Since I sent the sequence of photos through the email just after it happened on Christmas Day, people have brought other things to my attention (like a teacher from China mentioned a "UFO" sighting about the same time as my orb and light visitation) and another teacher friend wrote to me and asked how I had the "guts" to share this event with EVERY ONE OF MY CONTACTS - I told her I could indeed loose friends by "coming out" like this. Perhaps "coming out" should be the actual THEME... not only for my own pictures - those I've kept under wraps for years, but also, perhaps, the fact that "they" whatever that is, are also making themselves known to more of us.

Yes, I would imagine that one could loose some friends when one choses to make his/her leap out of the box. However, I find that new friends arrive, perhaps friends whose minds are more open and less prone to judging that which might not be easily explained.

So here goes...my photo COMING OUT PARTY...

Me in the snow on Christmas 2006

We were sledding the day after Christmas. I had made a good run and turned around and said "ta da" and my then partner, who had been taking pictures, snapped one. When we got home and saw it we were really kinda freaked. What was the light in the picture? HOW DID IT PUT ITSELF PERFECTLY INSIDE MY ARMS??? And...come on...I was a mainstream teacher. Except for being deeply spiritual and very quiet about it, going to Native American ceremonies and being quite connected to the earth and sustainability, I wasn't into this sort of woo woo. Both of us looked but we couldn't find ANYTHING then about the light (at that time I didn't even know to use the word "orb" and now the internet and YouTube are loaded with images --Google "images of orbs").

So, I asked around for months from those I didn't think would judge me as "weird and flaky." It wasn't until I met up months later with a Native American elder that I was told "Oh, it's an orb, a visitation of beings from another dimension and they usually like to be around happiness." He said it like it was obvious knowledge. My immediate thought was to begin researching this "orb" thing.

In 2010 I flew my son down to visit me while I was RVing, and we went to Disneyland for Christmas. On our way out at closing time I stopped him and said, "Okay, if these orb things are really true, then there ought to be a ton of them here because this is one happy place!" I ran over to the middle of the square and took one last photo--- of Disney and Mickey and heck if there weren't a bunch of orbs in the photo!

The statues of Walt Disney and Mickey-Christmas 2010

I made a little space in my own skeptical mind to allow that something seemed to be with me especially during Christmas. Okay...now that I am writing this (and since it is COMING OUT time) I have to share something that just came to mind. I was sitting at Harborview, in the waiting area while my son had surgery and a guy in his late 20s walked by to go out the door, turned around, walked straight over to me and said, "I was told I needed to come over and let you know that you are SURROUNDED by angels and beings...things will be fine." Then he gave me a huge hug, I cried all over him as I was alone and VERY concerned for my son, and he left. And as you know from my BIO...my son who was told he'd be paralyzed and never walk again is now walking with a cane. Yes, indeed, I am willing to be open to embrace the possibility that our mainstream science and technology, thankfully, do not have all the answers!

To be totally investigative and non-biased concerning the orbs I've personally witnessed, I would like to include the following:
The recent photos have an ethereal quality about them. I noticed when I downloaded and sent my email. I then realized I had a fire in the wood stove. Patches of smoke had been floating in the backyard and rather low due to cold (like a breath in the cold air). So I Googled "orbs show up in smoke" and found the following interesting sight about photographing orbs: http://www.triangleparanormal.com/Spirit_Photography.htm and its hints connected to several of the anomolies in my own pictures, i.e.: it was snowing in 2006, the lights of the castle in 2010 and smoke in 2011) BUT - it does not speak to how the orb was situated perfectly in my arms, nor does it give me feedback about the incoming orbs in a whoosh of a near straight line from the sky toward the deer, nor the sudden burst of light over my yard (except that there was smoke and mist there) but the blotting out of the tree trunks?

I certainly have many questions about these "orbs," but for now, I am content to marvel and be intrigued by something I cannot explain and leaves me feeling awe about this magnificent world in which we live.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJb2W8sC03U&feature=related

Thanksgiving & The New Moon

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 07:29:20 +0100

Earlier today had a visit from an old fear - a test to see how far I'd really come in my life and to see how grounded and strong I'd become due to struggle, suffering and adversity. For each and every lesson I have learned so much, have developed strength of character, depth, and so much compassion that my heart is now vibrantly alive. I am so thankful. What an initiation.

Tonight I was brought up close and personal to disasters and horrific trials and to those brave souls who survived (like my son, tsunami survivors, 911 families...) and whose lives were so changed by them. I sat and cried as I watched personal interviews with people who have seen and experienced devastation and have rebirthed into such incredible beings of strength, love, forgiveness, and tenacity. The human spirit is amazing. And as the tears flowed the video took me by the shoulders and shook me hard...how could I have felt even the tiniest pang of embarrassment or shame for the weight I've gained these past two years? How could that old conditioned fear concerning what a man might think of me due to body size arise again after all I've been though with my son's near death and the rug pulled out from beneath me in the twinkle of an eye.

Just goes to show how deeply ingrained was my training, and I am grateful for what was brought to my plate this evening via these touching heart-felt stories of survivors...and THRIVERS. Yes, indeed... I felt a lioness roar within. A lioness who no longer sleeps and one who stands firm and proud in her big, bold, beautiful self...the light will no longer be veiled by old tapes or by what people may or may not think. Through these stories I see so markedly how the judgements are not ours to own...but can be reflections that test the sense of self and question the respect we have for who we truly are. It feels so good to have witnessed the shift so quickly and to know deep within that my beauty will now been seen in a different way - one that honors, respects and goes deeper than surface appearances.

Alone and celibate these past two years, working on my book, and developing my new "storefront" I did not allow myself even a moment's thought about being in an intimate relationship. Have not spent a moment with my Chironic wound in my 7th house of relationship. The past few months I have been watching so many others revisit "old" stories - and knew that the planetary alignments were asking us to release those that were keeping us from fully stepping into who we are and shining...ha! Thought I'd done most of my work...and then had this sneak in on me. How lovely to see and process it without loosing my sense of self.

On this new moon I pledge to step fully into my light, into my creativity, into my desire to be of service, to encourage others to play, feel, laugh, cry, and raise their hands to the sky -letting the blindfolds fall from our eyes.

The raw beauty of complete vulnerability is something these stories reflected to me and I desire with all my heart to step fully into the lioness who calls me to have no fear as I put my head and heart into her jaws - knowing the beast within is now my friend and teacher.

How does a part of the world leave the world?
How does wetness leave water?
Don't try to put out fire by throwing on more fire!
Don't wash a wound with blood.
No matter how fast you run, your shadow keeps up.
Sometimes it's in front!
Only full overhead sun diminishes your shadow.
But that shadow has been serving you.
What hurts you, blesses you.
Darkness is your candle.
Your boundaries are your quest.
I could explain this,
but it will break the glass cover on your heart,
and there's no fixing that.
You must have shadow and light source both.
Listen, and lay your head under the tree of awe.
When from that tree feathers and wings sprout on you,
be quieter than a dove.
Don't even open your mouth for even a coo.
--Rumi

A blessed new moon and Happy Thanksgiving to you, dear one.

Sustainability

Sat, 05 Nov 2011 04:07:51 +0100

There seems to be something to this process of releasing: household items, personal belongings, thoughts that no longer serve, beliefs...such a weight upon the shoulders. I just got rid of 3/4ths of my "stuff" - totally cleaned out the attic and went through all the rooms in my home. Gave it all to my boys to have a yard sale. Ryan and his friend took it all and had a three day event where they scored close to $1000.
And me...I'm losing weight...

THE HEALING POWER OF NATURE - May 1, 2011

Sun, 16 Oct 2011 03:41:00 +0100

"Nature gives forth of itself willingly and abundantly.

~Sharon O'Hara, The Growing Place

Ah, the beauty and simplicity of nature, particularly in the more unspoiled wilderness areas unpolluted by noise, lights, sirens, signals and radio frequencies. In nature our spirits soar, our energetic fields expand, and the brilliance of the stars in the night sky are beyond compare. Traversing nature’s pathways silent and alone, it seems an effortless endeavor to access balance. Along with my own spiritual practice of cultivating curious attentive intimacy with the land, my life’s focus is to walk in balance.

At present, my lessons, papers and projects with ITP access the talents of my left brain, and the imaginative, creative and intuitive realm of my right brain hemisphere is activated through painting, poetry, music, silent meanderings, stillness and drumming. When I taught in the college, I was often asked how folks could more easily access hemispheric balance between the left and right brain. Of course I fully endorse participating in a drum circle, as this balance is created when left and right hands cross over and play various rhythms. I’m also a firm believer in hemi-sync music. However, one of my favorite methods is connected to the land.

You can’t change the problems of the world

using the same thinking that created them. ~Albert Einstein

Author, activist, and talk-radio personality, Thom Hartmann, wrote a fascinating book about the phenomenon of hemispheric balance and its necessity in our culture. His method involves the simple task of walking in nature utilizing two intentions:

1) Walking trails unfamiliar to us due to the fact that our eyes have a tendency to sweep back and forth as we find our way and become better acquainted with our new surroundings.

2) He encourages us to focus on a specific idea, issue, or problem while walking, for as we access both halves of our brain, we often realize unique solutions arising out of thin air and how best to engage in seeing them through.

Time spent in nature helps us to achieve balance, which allows for ease in accessing what I termed for a college class: Innate Natural Guidance.

In my research I have found that along with left and right brain equilibrium, another balancing act occurs while interacting with nature—a mind/body connection. It is more profound when involved in new activities that challenge you, thus making you more alert and mindful of the present moment: navigating narrow goat trails along a cliff’s edge, scrambling over rocks during a spelunking expedition—any activity that asks us to move our bodies and make a connection to the location in a mindful manner. Cultivating attentive intimacy with the land and achieving balance are life enhancing endeavors. Each engaged experience in this coursework holds the potential for realizing increased health and wellness.

Ecopsychology, the study of how nature and ecology affects our psyche and spirit, speaks to this connection and balance. Addiction to technology, substance abuse, passivity, and a disconnect from our food and life-sustaining sources has resulted in what experts have termed: Nature Deficit Disorder (NDD). A wonderful book entitled: The Last Child in The Woods by Richard Louv addresses this problem. It is a wonderful read and I highly recommend it. NDD has both family physicians and mental health professionals alarmed at the rise of disorders linked to mental and physical imbalance: autism (more profoundly amongst men), bipolar (higher in women), attention deficit disorder, and various forms of depression and isolation now affecting all of us, particularly our children. In 2009 the rise in pharmaceutical remedies for depression was at an all time high in the Western population. Therefore, mindful participation in this brain-balancing activity whenever you find yourself on a new trail, and just taking the time to visit the healing power of nature on a regular basis is life-enhancing in ways we’ve only begun to realize.